My life as I've known it for the last 2-3 years has changed completely, and it's starting to hit me. I think it was 2, maybe 3 summers ago when I was living at home and Serena and I were inseparable. We hung out all the time, just going on drives in the middle of the night, hanging out at the park for hours, doing nothing, doing everything. The summer after that, I barely saw anyone because life suddenly crashed into us all and we were busy. Then this summer I wasn't even living at home, and while part of me regrets that, part of me is still okay with it. But somewhere along the line...I lost Serena. I don't know what happened. I don't know if I changed, or if she did. Even for much of last year I would call her every week, every two weeks or so. And now we feel like strangers. Erin and I got closer, but still I never see her, and now I barely even get to talk to her because again, life is taking over.
And now the Sasha thing. He was the steadiest thing in my life for the last 3 years. We were friends...eventually best friends. And then eventually, somewhere along the line, I don't know when...we became inseparable. For our six month anniversary, Sasha gave me a necklace that's like a yin yang, like two people partially connected but yet enjoined into one circle. In the card he gave me with the necklace he said he hoped that someday we would be one. And at some point...it happened. And now...so suddenly, we turned into two again. There was a conscious integration from two into one, but a sudden, abrupt separation into two. I'm not as devastated as I should be. I just get pockets of sadness at random. I just go around trying to live my life, and out of nowhere I just get sad. Even when it's not provoked by something that reminds me of him. The worst part of all of this is that....I'm really, really happy.
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